Family Meeting

Sunday night I called a "family meeting". Just to gain a perspective, we have had 2 family meetings in 2010 that I can recall. Not a big practice around here. But Sunday night it had to be done. The topic: physical violence against family members. I am not joking. That was the topic.

Latley at our house the kids have taken to hitting, pushing, flicking, pinching and even what I would call "slugging". It is not pretty. And it's not just one ... it's all 3. I can assure you they did not learn this from their Mother!

We don't have a lot of rules around here. I figure that God only gave us 10 commandments ... so who am I to have a monster long list of "do nots". We try to major on the majors. My biggies are "no lying", "be respectful" & "be kind to others". If these rules are broken the consequences are usually pretty severe. I think it's fair to say that "acts of physical violence" against your brothers and sister would count as a "broken rule".

So, we gathered the kids and explained the problem. They agreed that there has been too much pushing, hitting, ect between them. They agreed with the discipline that was going to happen if it continues. They had a few questions though ...

"What if someone screams in my ear? Can I hit him then??" NO!

"What if someone pinches me? Can I kick her back?" NO!

"What if I see a slug bug and am playing the slug bug game and I slug someone?" uhhhh ... Paul? You wanna take this one?

"What if I do a "physical violence" but it was an accident?" Will I get disciplined then?" YES!

"What if he calls me annoying? That's not very nice. Can I scream in his ear?" NO!

Thankfully we haven't had to enforce the discipline yet. I'm hopeful yet also realize it IS only Tuesday.

Fall and other stuff

So sorry to all the bloggers out there. I have been delinquent. When my kids were small(er) Moms of older kids would tell me the busyness I was feeling was just the tip of the iceburg. I used to think when my kids were in school full time, then I would have more time to pursue stuff I enjoyed. What I didn't realize, was that while certain hours of the day would be "less busy", life as a whole gets more and more and more complicated. There are much bigger, more pressing demands for my time, my energy, my attention, my mind, my car, my money...you get the point. And, not only do I have 2 active "school aged kids" I also have a preschooler I spend hours and hours with during my "less busy" hours. Ha! All that to say, among other things, my blog hasn't been first priority lately.

It's been a fun fall around here. I'll attach a couple of pics to show you what I mean. And I promise another update real soon.

MVP

This week at school Noah is the "MVP". His teacher sets up a week for each student when they get to share with the class all kinds of cool things. A favorite CD to play during lunch. A devotion to share with their class. A poster with cool pictures about themselves. A guessing jar. A special "show" time. Along with that, a parent can write a letter to their child to be read. Here's what we wrote....

Dear Noah,

There are so many things your Dad and I love about you.
We love your kind and generous heart.
We love your desire to obey God and your parents.
We love how your smile reaches all the way up to your eyes.
We love how you think about others, and have a lot of courage to stand up for what is right.
We love how you are a leader out on the ball diamond and football field. You never give up. We love that!

I like to tell you this “story”. I hope it doesn’t embarrass you, but even if it does, I think every one of your friends needs to hear it too. Because I bet their parents feel the same way about them.

If God lined up a million kids in front of us …. Some of them short, some tall, some with really big muscles, some who never disobeyed or talked back to their Mom. Some really really good at reading with perfect AR scores every time. Some who got all 25 words right on their spelling test every week. Some beautiful piano players. Some future NLF stars. Some future preachers and scientists and astronauts. And then if God said … “You can pick any of these kids to be yours.” We would look and look and look until we found YOU. There is only one of you Noah. And God gave YOU to US. We think we got the best “pick” of all!! You might not be perfect, but we would choose you every single time. You are going to make mistakes and mess up and not always do what we like. But, we would still chose you every single time. No matter what. We love you and are proud of you and are so thankful every day that you are our son.

Love Mom and Dad

My Best Girl

This is my girl Ella JoAnne. She turns 8 tomorrow. It's also the first day of school for her. Big Day all around. On the day she was born I was secretly nervous I could never love another child like my first (Noah). Boy was I wrong. Really Really Wrong. The second I held her in my arms I felt a rush of love that was powerful, primal and eternal. I have never been the same. She makes me a better person. Every day. She makes the world a better place. Every day. To quote one of my favorite books "There is no me without her".

At her party today, we had her grandmas, grandpas, aunts & uncles go around and say one thing they loved or appreciated about Ella. There was quite a list. Here are just a few of the things we blessed her with ...

*I love how your smile reaches up to your eyes. Your smile is especially beautiful. So often when I look at you you are smiling.
*You are such a good reader. You read book after book to your cousin, and for being in 3rd grade you are smooth and comfortable and excellent at reading.
*You are a thinker. You are always thinking about what's going on around you. You are even thinking today about what you're going to wear to school tomorrow. Keep on being a thinker. It will serve you well.
*I love how you like to talk. Almost everytime I see you you're talking to someone about something. Even when you stay at my house I hear you talking to your brother late at night.
*You are a good sister and I love you
*You have a love for God and Jesus. I see you reading your Bible often; without being told. You make good decisions and I love how you've asked Jesus to be your God.
*You are the oldest girl cousin. You don't have a lot of cousins your own age who are girls, and yet you don't complain about that. You act as an excellent role model for the younger girls in our family.
*You are an awesome friend. You have a lot of friends and a lot of good friends. You treat other girls with kindness and goodness and are a lot of fun to be around. I hope this is true for the rest of your life.
*You make me feel loved when I'm with you.

I couldn't have said it better myself! Happy Birthday to my Best girl! I pray God gives you many many many more!

What's in a name?

Saturday night we were able to gather with the group we traveled to Ethiopia with. It was so fun to see how much changing all 4 boys have done in just 1 year. They all looked so alive and healthy and adorable! I wasn't surprised, and yet it reminded me once again the power of family. And food. And security. And hope. It's remarkable really.

We met at an Ethiopian restaurant. It turns out the man who owns the place lived just 18 miles from where Felmata was born. And speaks his native language!! When Sam spoke to Meta in Oromo Meta just looked at him. "Say it again!" he shouted. But, saying it again didn't help. Meta followed Sam around most of the night and kept asking him "say something else in Ormo!" It seems that Felmata has lost all of his original language. This was sad to me, and to him as well. We knew it would happen eventually ... as there is no one in his life for him to "practice" with, but I was surprised that just a year later he didn't recognize any of it.

The best part of the night for us came when Sam asked us if we knew what "Felmata" means. I have researched and asked and questioned several Ethiopians to no avail. No one seemed to know what his name meant (I think this is because most of the people we met were from the Capital and not from the Oromio region). Sam smiled a little grin and said Felmata means "prone to argue". Oh boy! We laughed and laughed and laughed. If you know Meta at all, you know why we laughed. Let's just say his birthmother had amazing intuition. We'll just leave it at that! :)

Lifting my head...

Sometimes when the dishes are done, the kids are tucked in and kissed good night, the "estate has been locked down" (as my husband likes to joke); my thoughts are not so easily put to bed. Sometimes I fall asleep before my head hits the pillow. Sometimes I do not.

Sometimes my mind runs a little wild. I ask questions. To whom I'm not sure. But I ask questions. Do we have milk for breakfast? Will the clothes I left in the washing machine be stinky by morning (OK ... by late afternoon)? Is the garage door shut? Will I lose my parents at too young of an age? Will my (adopted) son ever grow to resent me ... his "2nd" mother? When was the last time that ceiling fan was cleaned? Will my daughter tell me when she's hurt ... scared ... lonely? Did I insult my friend with my words? Does my husband really love me ... for real? Am I a "good enough" sister/daughter/friend/wife/mother/employee/neighbor
/PERSON?

Today I was once again reminded of God's Words to me. He wants me to look up. Not back. Not ahead. But up. He wants me to be present in today. To smell the fresh cut grass. To love my children right where they are. To love as if I'll never be hurt. To tear down walls. To seek Him. To listen to that still small voice and obey.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep having questions. Questions are just part of who I am. But I love how the psalmnist reminds me to look up .... "But YOU, oh Lord, are a shield about me; my glory, and the lifter of my head."

Thanks, Lord, for reminding me to lift my head, and for being there in the midst of all of my questions. There is NONE like You!