11.09.2009

Like Nothing I've Ever Seen...

Today was a normal Monday, other than Noah and Ella had off from school for conferences. On Mondays I get groceries; today was no different. Other than what I experienced at Meijer was like nothing I've ever seen before ... ever.

Noah and Ella have had their share of tantrums. Not large. Not long. But they've each had fits over not getting their way. Felmata has had his share, too. But I've never seen one like this ... even from somebody else's child. Never. In all of my life. And I've seen some pretty ugly tantrums.

We were wrapping up our shopping. Noah brought a few of his own dollars to buy a tech deck. Felmata wanted a toy, too. I explained that he got a new toy just this past Saturday, and that Noah was using his own money. The tantrum began. It was manageable, but that's where it started. We headed for the check out, kicking, yelling, crying, but still, mostly manageable. A little embarassing, yes, but no big deal. I have thick skin. An older Mom smiled as she passed and encouraged me to "stay strong".

At the same time the tantrum began, Felmata was clutching his Little Debbie brownies. I let the kids each pick a Little Debbie snack for later. See ... I'm not really a mean Mom.

Anyway, as the kicking, yelling, crying continued, Felmata made the choice to throw his brownies over the edge of the cart. "That'll show you" was the look on his face. "I don't think so" was the look on mine.

This is the part where it got really really ugly. I picked up the brownies off from the floor, and simply put them back on the shelf. I'm not going to tolerate food being thrown out of the grocery cart. Tantrum or not.

The yelling became louder. The kicking got stronger. The crying more intense. The spitting began. During flu season. My child was spitting on everything he could get to. And on and on and on.

2 store employees stopped to ask if they could help. Shoppers left their aisles to find out what the racket was. Several women stopped their carts completely to stare. Literally just stood and stared.

What was I to do? Abandon my cart and leave the store? Reason with a totally out of control child? I tried a time out in the shoe aisle to no avail. Should I just try and get through the checkout super fast? I picked option 3. I hurried to the checkout.

Where, you guessed it, I saw not 1, not 2, but 3 people I knew. 2 pretended not to see me. Although I could see them walking a little quicker as I got closer.

With tears streaming down my face, I quickly loaded my groceries, paid my bill, and started to head for the door. When person #3 chose to get into my chaos for a second. My friend Missi stopped what she was doing, walked over to me (now she was being stared at, too) and gave me the biggest bear hug I've gotten in a very long time. It wasn't a pat on the shoulder, a "poor you", kind of hug. She hugged me until I let go, and whispered what a good Mom I was.

The last few years I've often times made my outings to Meijer an intentional place to show some love. Often when I'm there, I'm looking for people to extend a smile to. I try to make conversation with the cashiers. Try to ask about their lives. Often I let frazled moms go ahead of me in line. I feel like I can be Jesus for just a second to someone I run into. I feel like maybe a small gesture could brighten someone's day.

Today the tables were turned. I'm not sure Missi will ever know how thankful I was that God had her right there, right then, and that she chose to walk into my world for just a second, and be Jesus to me.

I cried most of the way home. Not because I was frustrated, or embarassed, or angry. But because someone showed such kindness, and I felt such love.

Life is hard sometimes. It's not always easy being a Mom. But how much brighter the world looks when someone chooses to walk across the aisle and share a little of the burden.

6 comments:

LJFredricks said...

Jessica, I just jumped on from facebook and I am so sorry! I was not at Miejer today so I did not see you but I have been there. How frusterating that must have been!
I have a daughter who has pushed me to tears many times and have often felt (but never confirmed) that the people around me judged me as a poor mother. And many, many other emotions mixed in at the same time.
Way to stand firm! That will show more love than anything.
I am so glad a friend was there for a hug!!

wendy said...

oh, jess....you articulate your story very well...as if we were there watching it all unfold (and remembering when we, too, have been in that situation)...but what a God story about having missi there at just the right time....i can also visualize what peace came through those few minutes :) thanks for sharing your awesome story...encouraging others to take time out of their day to bless another person :)

Cheeky said...

Thanks for this Jess. It's so easy to give in and try to quiet and quell the bad behavior when in a a public place. Taye often decides to throw an all out screaming, rolling the floor, test mommy tantrum (much like the one you described here)in the LIBRARY. I've had the same exact experience--people walking away, murmuring, starting, frowning, a word of encouragement from a stranger or flat out unkind comments muttered in my direction. I'm proud of you for staying strong, and so thankful for the good friend who know when to follow the Spirit's leading to help you get through another challenging mommy moment. I'll also keep my eye out for someone I can encourage today--I'm often a taker rather than a giver in this area.

Beck said...

Who knew Meijer could be the setting for such a powerful intervention. Thanks for sharing. :)

renee said...

Jess,

Now that I've wiped my tears - for you, for Missi, for friends, for just the right timing, for motherhood, for Jesus... You are not alone!! I'm sure that Missi has sprouted wings in your book :) Thanks for sharing and for being such a great mom!

Anonymous said...

I can totally relate. I've had to spank in the cereal aisle (not sure if I'm marked for *watching* at Meijer now or what.), I've also used that belt in the seat to restrain my nearly four year old, while I pulled the cart to get away from his kicking legs. I always wonder what those people watching the security cameras must think. It sounds like you handled it well with trying a time out. Just yesterday I let a cute tiny old lady whose arms were full of t.p. go ahead of me at Aldi. My kindergartener loudly exclaimed "oh I'm soooooo hungry. It's going to take ages now!" I gave him THE LOOK.
P.S. Way to be firm with the awol Little Debbies. It can be SO HARD to follow thru. You need an award! How about I just eat a piece of chocolate *in honor* of you?