Happy Thanksgiving!

Oh how I love Thanksgiving. It is such a great time to reflect and look ahead. It is tradition. It is family. It is good food. It is a reminder of all that I have been given. It is another chance to say " thanks" for all the things I haven't "earned", but cherish with all my heart. My God has been so good to me; and I am thankful.

I am thankful for a God who knows better than I do what I need. I am thankful for a living, adventurous God who doesn't allow me to coast through life, but challenges me to grow and change and thrive. I'm thankful that when storms come my way, Jesus wants me to row, but also gets in the boat with me.

I am thankful for a husband who loves his God, his family and his work. I get to be married to a man who shares from his heart and wants to look into mine. I am thankful that we are learning to be our "true selves" with each other.

I am thankful for healthy kids with different personalities. I have been blessed with 3 children who not only bring laughter and joy into my life, but who challenge me and stretch me and make me a better person.

I am thankful for my parents who are proud of me and still remind me of that, even though I'm 33 years old. I am thankful for in-laws who support my role in our family and cheer us on with each new "adventure". I am thankful for a father-in-law who calls me just to say I'm doing a "good job".

I am thankful for 2 sisters who knew me when I was at my worst, and still love me anyway. It is an amazing blessing to not only love but also like your siblings.

I am thankful for friendships that have gone deeper this year. I am grateful for women in my life who are willing to be real and authentic and allow me to be too (even when it's ugly).

None of these things I have earned. None of them are mine. I don't possess them. I try to hold them loosely, knowing that my hope comes from above. But oh, for the moment, I am so grateful to the One who has given them to me.

Hope & A Future

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future" Jeremiah 29:11

This weekend we publically dedicated Felmata to the Lord. Obviously we did this a long time ago in our hearts, but this was the night we stood up in front of family and friends and declared it out loud. We chose Jeremiah 29:11 to be read for Felmata. This is a verse I "claimed" for Felmata long ago.

I so believe that God has good plans for my son ... plans to give him hope and a future. It is a sobering job, this thing called Motherhood. It is filled with ups and downs and fear and joy and pride and regret and so much more.

More than all of that, in the middle of all of that, really, there is my God who promises not only for me, but for my children as well, that He will never leave us. That He has plans for us, and those plans are good. And because of that promise, and His love that never changes, I can take the ups and downs and fears and regrets, and also the joys and laughter and hugs, and I can wake up each morning with eagerness to do my job the best that I can. I have my part, and God has His, and for that I am thankful this year!

Like Nothing I've Ever Seen...

Today was a normal Monday, other than Noah and Ella had off from school for conferences. On Mondays I get groceries; today was no different. Other than what I experienced at Meijer was like nothing I've ever seen before ... ever.

Noah and Ella have had their share of tantrums. Not large. Not long. But they've each had fits over not getting their way. Felmata has had his share, too. But I've never seen one like this ... even from somebody else's child. Never. In all of my life. And I've seen some pretty ugly tantrums.

We were wrapping up our shopping. Noah brought a few of his own dollars to buy a tech deck. Felmata wanted a toy, too. I explained that he got a new toy just this past Saturday, and that Noah was using his own money. The tantrum began. It was manageable, but that's where it started. We headed for the check out, kicking, yelling, crying, but still, mostly manageable. A little embarassing, yes, but no big deal. I have thick skin. An older Mom smiled as she passed and encouraged me to "stay strong".

At the same time the tantrum began, Felmata was clutching his Little Debbie brownies. I let the kids each pick a Little Debbie snack for later. See ... I'm not really a mean Mom.

Anyway, as the kicking, yelling, crying continued, Felmata made the choice to throw his brownies over the edge of the cart. "That'll show you" was the look on his face. "I don't think so" was the look on mine.

This is the part where it got really really ugly. I picked up the brownies off from the floor, and simply put them back on the shelf. I'm not going to tolerate food being thrown out of the grocery cart. Tantrum or not.

The yelling became louder. The kicking got stronger. The crying more intense. The spitting began. During flu season. My child was spitting on everything he could get to. And on and on and on.

2 store employees stopped to ask if they could help. Shoppers left their aisles to find out what the racket was. Several women stopped their carts completely to stare. Literally just stood and stared.

What was I to do? Abandon my cart and leave the store? Reason with a totally out of control child? I tried a time out in the shoe aisle to no avail. Should I just try and get through the checkout super fast? I picked option 3. I hurried to the checkout.

Where, you guessed it, I saw not 1, not 2, but 3 people I knew. 2 pretended not to see me. Although I could see them walking a little quicker as I got closer.

With tears streaming down my face, I quickly loaded my groceries, paid my bill, and started to head for the door. When person #3 chose to get into my chaos for a second. My friend Missi stopped what she was doing, walked over to me (now she was being stared at, too) and gave me the biggest bear hug I've gotten in a very long time. It wasn't a pat on the shoulder, a "poor you", kind of hug. She hugged me until I let go, and whispered what a good Mom I was.

The last few years I've often times made my outings to Meijer an intentional place to show some love. Often when I'm there, I'm looking for people to extend a smile to. I try to make conversation with the cashiers. Try to ask about their lives. Often I let frazled moms go ahead of me in line. I feel like I can be Jesus for just a second to someone I run into. I feel like maybe a small gesture could brighten someone's day.

Today the tables were turned. I'm not sure Missi will ever know how thankful I was that God had her right there, right then, and that she chose to walk into my world for just a second, and be Jesus to me.

I cried most of the way home. Not because I was frustrated, or embarassed, or angry. But because someone showed such kindness, and I felt such love.

Life is hard sometimes. It's not always easy being a Mom. But how much brighter the world looks when someone chooses to walk across the aisle and share a little of the burden.

Happy Halloween!

We had a great Halloween weekend filled with friends, family, neighbors and lots and lots of candy. What's not to love about that?!?

Felmata and I have been reading books about Halloween for a few weeks. So, when the big day arrived, he pretty much knew what to expect. Costume, knock on doors, say trick or treat, get candy. What he didn't realize was that the candy was HIS and he got to take it home and EAT it.

Every house he stopped at he would turn to Paul and say "All done Daddy?" Paul would say "Nope, let's keep going". His reply? "YIPEEE!!"

Today he said "Tomorrow should be Halloween too Mom". Sorry buddy, tomorrow is just an ordinary Tuesday with laundry on the task list. I think it's time to start reading about Christmas!

Here's a few pics from the weekend.

Noah the Nerd...

Ella aka Hannah Montana
Felmata the "friendly" lion. He refused to say "ROOOAR" but chose instead to say "meow".

I so Happy Mom!

It's a cold, rainy day in Michigan today. Felmata and I spent part of the morning snuggled under the fleace blanket, reading books. About 5 minutes into our snuggle, he looked up at me with those big bright eyes and said...

"I so happy Mom"!

I so happy too Felmata ... What a joy you are to me.

3 Months

Fall has arrived in West Michigan, and for a child from Ethiopia ... It's COLD! Almost every day Felmata steps outside these days he says "MA! Isss coooold!" Oh sweet boy, you have no idea. He loves reading books about snow, it looks so fun. I'm afraid some of the joy of snow is going to be diminished by the sheer brutality of the wind/ice/sleet that is surely on it's way.

We were treated once again by my parents to a fun weekend away at a cottage. The highlight of this for Felmata (besides for all the great family time) was the chance to go fishing. He caught 2 fish, and it was pretty clear he had done that before. It is so strange to not know what your child has experienced in his earlier life. I suppose this is a feeling I should be getting used to, but I'm not sure I ever will. It's not natural to not know about your child's earlier years. As Felmata's English improves, we are beginning to get clearer glimpses into his early life. He tells us certain things about Ethiopia. But, he's only 3, so I know a lot of those memories will fade and be lost forever. I hate that! Maybe that's why I'm trying to capture as much as I can of his new life here in America.

We continue to be amazed at the progress Felmata is making. He is learning colors, shapes, letters and their sounds, and lots and lots of English words. He is beginning to get much pickier about food, goes to bed like a champ and loves loves loves his brother and sister. Each morning before school, he insists on praying by the back door with Noah and me before Noah leaves for the bus. If he hates anything, it's being left out.

It's now officially 3 months since Felmata joined our family, but to be honest, it feels like he's been a part of us for much longer than that. I thank God every day for the love He has placed in my heart for this child of His.