the Last?

There's a fanastic children's book that talks about kid's "lasts". If I'm honest, I think it's really writtten for Moms and not so much for kids. The couple of times I've read it to Ella she kind of looks at me with that look that says "you're odd Mom .... and I don't quite get it". I have never been able to read it with out crying. It's all about kid's "lasts".

As parents, we celebrate all the "firsts". 1st tooth, 1st word, 1st day of school, 1st bike ride with no training wheels, 1st soccer game, ect etc. BUT, do we ever stop and contemplate the "lasts"?

Do I remember the last bottle I fed my kids? Did I realize the last time they reached for my hand in a new place? How about the last time they cried when I dropped them off somewhere? The last picture that was colored just for me. The last Thomas the Train track we built together? The last time Noah sat in my lap while I read a book to him. All those "lasts" may have happened, but did I even recognize them? If I did, I would have held on a little longer. I would have read one more book, requested one more picture, took one more time around the track, cuddled for a few more minutes.

Last night, Ella came creeping into our room around 2am. "Mom", she whispered, "I had a bad dream. Can I crawl in with you?" "I dreamt about something under the deck that made a whooo whooo sound". It hit me after the little Ella arm bonked my head, and the Ella breath was in my face; this could be a last. Maybe not, but it sure has been awhile since one of the kids crawled in. I don't remember when the last time Noah did. I'm thankful I had the thought, so I could cherish the moment. Next time, maybe she'll wake up, realize it was just a dream, and go back to sleep. That's OK, but I'm going to hang on to the Ella breath in my face for as long as I can.

Yesterday, Noah spilled his OJ at breakfast. Was that a last? If so, I'm sure glad I bit my tongue and responded with grace. I'm glad I didn't get frustrated, or irritated, but instead used the time to teach that mistakes happen, and in this house, if we both work together we can clean up anything. His mistakes are going to grow as he does. Pretty soon it won't be about spilled juice, but bigger stuff. I hope he remembers that together we can clean up anything, and that our house is full of grace & love, no matter how sticky things around him get.

This is one of the hardest parts of being a parent. I know I'm helping them grow to be their own people, to be healthy, and independent, and able to live well. It's just hard to see it happen so quickly, and realize even though we have so many 1sts yet to record, there are a lot of lasts going on too. Today I'm going to treasure each moment, and pray that God gives me the strength I need to see the lasts; and savor them.