Fear

As I sense our time drawing closer, there are moments, minutes, OK, days when fear starts to creep in. It begins as a small question, and sometimes turns into a sweaty, panicky feeling that leaves me feeling weak and full of uncertainty. Questions like what if I'm not prepared for this? What if after he comes home I regret this decision? What if he doesn't do well with our family? What if I don't love him like my other kids? What if he's wild, uncontrollable, hard to love? The fear builds and builds and builds. There have been several blogs this week from others who are recently home. They talk of how hard it is. How exhausting. How emotionally draining. How unprepared they feel. Am I ready for that?

It is no coincidence that my Bible study last week was on the Israelites and Moses and how they were right up next to the land God had promised them. They had been wandering and grumbling, and now God was ready to give them all He had promised. They sent spies in to see what they were up against. They saw the giants, and instead of remembering God's Words, they focused on the giants instead. They look around instead of up. They looked at the size of their situation instead of the size of their God. They completely forgot the miracles God had performed. They completely forgot how God had spared them, loved them, taken care of them. They forgot that God was on their side and He wasn't going to lead them into something and then leave them.

I don't have to be afraid. God has led our family to where we are, and we're going to keep following His "cloud" and enter the land He has promised us. There might be giants waiting for us, but I know my God is bigger than any giant I can come across. He's been with me, loved me, performed many miracles on my behalf, and I believe Him when He reminds me He's not going to stop now.

Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."